when dating, when choosing friends.

you need a gardener not a florist.

a florist only picks perfection.
they cut you down.
teach you that you aren't adequate alone.
a florist will stop your growth, in fact they'll kill you slowly.

sure, it seems rewarding temporarily.
you might bring a smile to someone's face for a week or so.
when you're chosen, you feel special. nothing else in the world matters.
but a florist treats all the other flowers the same.
in fact, a florist ignores your individuality more than it celebrates it.

but, a gardener...

a gardener gives you their time.
they keep you nourished and strong.
teach you that you're worth fighting for.
a gardener will encourage life and tear down weeds that suffocate.

a gardener will keep you rooted and firm,
they'll allow room for growth.
even understand that change is normal; change is good.
a gardener might trim and prune you, but only to keep you from hurting yourself.

sure, a gardener can't always prevent the harsh, cruelty of winter
but they'll absolutely revive you in the spring.
a gardener delights in your happiness and health;
your beauty and uniqueness makes them smile.
their knees will be sore from praying and working on your behalf.

and gardeners don't ask for a thing.
they just want you to shine.

so, find a gardener not a florist.

and, if you can, be a gardener too.

aftermath.

abandonment was her matress,

a firm, cold reality
that dreams don't come true.
her heartache collects dust,
and no maid comes to clean it.

as time passes, her memory remains.
a boy from months past
continues to be seen --
in flashes and wishes
and fairytale books.
a toad in disguise
keeps her heart closed; confined.

no bedtime story
or soft, lullabye
can return the hope
that once lived in her mind.
wishes on stars are willed to come true, 
but often,
so often,
they fall out of the sky.

her heart,
not quite broken or missing,
is just simply trapped,
in a world full of dragons and swords.
with no knight coming bravely,
and no kiss on her lips
to help her wake up.

since his return from a stay on the moon.

"I'm afraid that [he] might think of me as:
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land."
- Drops of Jupiter, Train

there was this over-whelming distance.

this barrier that only needed time to fall.

as the seconds grew shorter, her heart beat faster.

his presence fell closer and her breaths,

farther apart.

she could imagine his chuckle, his soft smile.

confident dreaming could sustain her aching heart.

her mind was restless; too trusting in rumors.

until she forced herself to replace her hope

with reality.

her mind redirected, but still her heart

chased after a shooting star--out of reach.

her mind reinforced the barrier's strength.

whispers slipped through the cracks; her heart

beat on.

displaced and erased again and again,

her feelings fought through and her love,

her adoration remained for him. a boy

of few words, whose glance turned her knees

into eggshells.

**Summer-school should be forbidden for future doctors that I'm infatuated with. Okay?

five days until the showdown.

my birthday is in five days, children.

f. i. v. e.

5

and this is the weather forecast:

oh baby!

an 80's party to bring down the house with the temperature in the 80's? serendipity.

and remember that poem that won me an award?

well, the boy who I wrote it about might be coming to my party. [i know, i just went 8th grade on you. but come on, it's my birthday!]

it will surely be the best monday in the world.