apparently.

if you go to fred meyer's and buy flowers and ice cream,
the coupon machine thinks you are on your period.
they would be correct.
just in case you are a man, they also throw in a coupon for batteries.

just because you have a suspicious bruise and a sprained ankle that seems to not be healing, it does not mean you have leukemia.

a love for all things lime, does not erase your fear of fruit being an ingredient in dessert.
key lime pie is still my favorite flavor of yogurt, even though i don't care for the real thing.

garden gnomes do not clean your bedroom while you're away.
lazy bums.

swimming is the only* available activity during the summer.
heaven forbid we should be creative.
*note: heavy sarcasm.

the sno cone shack girl will make you a large sno cone when you ordered a medium.
but she'll only charge you for a medium and give you several coupons as an apology.
don't you just hate it when you get more than you deserve?
"it's like, i don't even care what happens the rest of the day." -- himym

and apparently, sunshine yellow and tiffany blue nail polish do not exist. rude.