He hurt you. It's okay to admit that. Let yourself experience the pain. Don't be ashamed that you wanted it to work; desiring commitment and affection is never something that should be suppressed . Please, please admit to yourself that it hurt. The sooner you experience the emotion the better. Otherwise you'll hold onto it until it consumes you.
You are an out-going friendly woman, but holding onto this pain will cause you to drive people away. You'll stop trusting people; even worse, you'll stop trusting yourself. You're working so hard to hide the hurt that you're neglecting so many good things. Let it go. Cry and get angry. Do something, because feeling nothing can last forever and is even harder to recover from.
There will come a day when you are curled in the fetal position begging God to end your life. A week later you won't even remember why things were so bad that day. A week after that a boy will stand on your doorstep and tell you that he cannot find a girl who compares to you. Always hold out for good things. Keep hope. Believe that happiness is coming. Christ suffered alone, but He won't let you suffer alone. Always look toward the sun.
There is a saying that the grass is greener on the other side, but yours could be just as green if you took the time to water. Sometimes those good-things-on-the-horizon have to be worked for. Waiting won't get you anywhere.
Love,
Your biggest fan
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