sometimes.

sometimes you meet someone, an extraordinary someone, who you feel unworthy of. yet, you ignore the doubt and dream anyway.

like that song by the smith's, you wish that this time you'll get exactly what you want.

and after some time between the skepticism and effort.

your 11:11 pleas. your fortune cookies. your prayers. your wishes on stars. they pay off.

and that someone you most wanted. that third time charm.

he wants you too.

dream boy.

i have been in two relationships. each lasted exactly two months from first date to break-up.
both of these boys were outgoing and funny.
both liked to cook.
both had hoards of friends.
both of them had dreams and ambitions within reach. -- both of them worked hard to make them come true.
both treated me with respect.
both spoke of marriage and futures, and both made plans.
each is a good person and each deserve beauty and love and happiness.

dream boy is different.

dream boy is quiet, he is a wallflower.
dream boy teases me, but never mocks.
dream boy does not seek attention.
dream boy listens and observes.
dream boy accepts compliments graciously, but never seeks them out.
dream boy opens doors for everyone, all the time, no matter what.
dream boy makes me feel safe.
dream boy always says thank you.
dream boy never returns animosity.
dream boy offers assistance and helps even when i deem it unnecessary.
dream boy inspires me and encourages me.

dream boy is different.

he isn't mine. he may never be.
but he has done more good for my heart than anyone else in the world.

i'd like him to be the third. the one who breaks all the patterns. the snow that doesn't melt so quickly.

church christmas dinner.

pouring rain.

wet shoes climbing a ladder.

heavy box overhead, while descending a ladder.

prayers that if i fall and die someone will find me soon.

safe landing.

wondering why i still haven't bought new windshield wipers.

u-turn for teeth brushing; wouldn't want dream boy to suffer.

bff jill saves the day.

psycho yells at me.

meet gaze with dream boy and ignore her.

people thinking i'm in charge.

happy about sitting under the chandelier. 

sad that dream boy is in another room.

peppermint dessert to die for.

hiding upstairs to have secret conversations.

spontaneous duet.

nearly choking on a cough drop.

frequent eye contact with dream boy.

bishop telling us to focus on perfecting ourselves.

distracted by the perfect ornaments and twinkling lights.

SANTA.

skinny santa?

lots of girls vying for dream boy's attention.

i throw a napkin at his head. [see above.]

he comes to me.

bff jill and flyza conveniently leave us alone. wink.

sporadic cleaning.

muscles and chest hair.

subtly following dream boy back inside.

watching psycho corner and interrogate him.

appreciating that he is so polite.

knowing i'll never jump in and save him because she'd probably yell at me again.

marveling at christmas decorations from tai pan.

wanting to steal the peppermint dessert.

awkward laughing at random boy's "jokes".

walking between psycho and dream boy to interrupt and say goodbye. [and get attention.]

he kicks me.

daydreaming all the way home.

tell me you feel this.

pouty face.

irony is seeing the man you're in love with, while you're on a date with someone else.

since his return from a stay on the moon.

"I'm afraid that [he] might think of me as:
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land."
- Drops of Jupiter, Train

there was this over-whelming distance.

this barrier that only needed time to fall.

as the seconds grew shorter, her heart beat faster.

his presence fell closer and her breaths,

farther apart.

she could imagine his chuckle, his soft smile.

confident dreaming could sustain her aching heart.

her mind was restless; too trusting in rumors.

until she forced herself to replace her hope

with reality.

her mind redirected, but still her heart

chased after a shooting star--out of reach.

her mind reinforced the barrier's strength.

whispers slipped through the cracks; her heart

beat on.

displaced and erased again and again,

her feelings fought through and her love,

her adoration remained for him. a boy

of few words, whose glance turned her knees

into eggshells.

**Summer-school should be forbidden for future doctors that I'm infatuated with. Okay?